“You suspect them, we detect them.” Meet the worst private investigator in the business — asleep in his own filth, lying to a client he’s supposed to be surveilling for.
A private-eye parody that runs every noir cliché through a man too hungover to commit to the bit.
The story
Dick Moove — of Moove Detection, “you suspect them, we detect them” — is the worst private investigator alive. The pilot finds him asleep in his boots and sunglasses amid ten curdling coffee mugs, roused by a client wanting an update on a stakeout he has plainly never begun. So he invents one, confidently gaslighting her about her own husband and neighbours. A crude, deadpan, quotable noir-comedy built around an instantly castable comic monster: every hard-boiled-detective beat played for squalor and lies. A Solar Storm property.
Coverage — plot points
- Dick wakes in his clothes, boots and sunglasses among 10 mouldering coffee mugs.
- A client calls for a surveillance update he is absolutely not conducting.
- He improvises the report, gaslighting her about her own life.
- A hard-boiled-detective parody where the detective is the case.
“Moove Detection. You suspect them, we detect them.”
“I stole this off someone without stealing the manual, so I haven’t been able to use it.”
Read the sample
Below is the existing draft — a sample of the final shooting script (22pp shown). Scroll to read, or download the PDF.
Seeking representation and/or a producing partner for television. Complete script available on request.